thewonderfulwhirled

I don’t know where anything is going :(

Oh gosh

apparently my auditory processing disorder is getting worse again, oh lordy that’s all I need -_-

I just need to let it all out. I need some help. Sorry.

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i just need someone to talk to but im scared of irritating my friends and driving them away

:(

I want to stop being sad but I can’t and it’s killing me :(

why am I such an awful human being?

life is so fucked up and complicated :(

RETURN TO TUMBLR

Yes guyz, I survived AS exams (defo deserve a medal or a knighthood or something) !!!

Emma update (if you’re interested that is) !

It’s 5 days until my first THREE exams (all on one day basically) and I’m so so stressed and maybe I shouldn’t be on tumblr (having a break, okay?).

But eeee, although there is a constant looming of problems in my family, for once in my life, out of the house, I’ve never felt happier! I finally have made some proper friends and they make me feel so much happier and better about myself and they’re are some of the loveliest and caring (and mad) people I’ve ever had the pleasure of being with! It’s been such a good decision in my life - If you’re unhappy with your friends, make some more. It’s so much better for your self esteem and maybe you’ll make some life long memories. Go for it !

(and good luck to anyone with exams coming up !) :)

I’m not even exaggerating when I say I only have 6 proper friends and that’s pushing it :(

today..

me and my best friend were planning that we are going to have a party after exams and next year a “wild” (oOOOooOOooh) holiday and then we were like, shit. got to survive exams first -_-

oh lyf

COME ON, I WILL PASS MY EXAMS!

think I may start doing lifescouts - it looks fun!

I just thought I need to get this out there:

There has been SO much on my dash and social networking about not being thin enough lately. PLEASE, STOP IT. 

BEAUTY IS NOT DEFINED BY SIZE

I have seen so many pictures of both girls and boys competing to be the thinnest and the most “beautiful”. I know anorexia and eating disorders are a mental illness, but people can stop others from getting these horrible, horrible illnesses by stopping posting online! So many people want to loose weight nowadays, myself included, but people encouraging starvation and obsessive workouts and routines can cause people, sensible people to spiral into these horrible ways and put their life and health at serious risks. 

Honestly, I know many of you would disagree with this, but I’d rather have a little extra weight on me being 100% healthy and if I get ill, I can fight it off than being seriously underweight with vitamin deficiencies, poor skin and having mental and physical illnesses having little chance of fighting off illnesses and diseases. And what for? A thigh gap? Cheekbones? 

I’ve never been happy with my weight. I’m currently 150lbs and only 5”2, which many of you could class as “disgusting” or “ugly”. My goal weight is a HEALTHY 133lbs, which many of you would still class as “horrible”.The heaviest I’ve ever been has been 164lbs and after an accident in 2012, I wasn’t able to eat for 2 weeks due to damage to my jaw and teeth. I lost 21lbs in 2 weeks, so I know that you can stop eating completely if you want to. BUT DON’T. Just those 2 weeks, I still wasn’t thin, but I was extremely ill. I took time off school and spend holidays in bed because I barely had enough energy to walk to the other side of the room. And that was only 2 weeks. Some of you keep this up for months. Years. And you’re killing yourself. And all you care about is being ghostly thin to be “beautiful”?

There are so many more important things than that. Family. Friends. How will they feel when they’re burying their 18 year old daughter or son who died from falling into a coma due to effects of an eating disorder?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. DON’T EVER THINK THAT. You’re only alone when every single member of this earth have been blown up by an atomic bomb and you’re floating about in space, which is pretty unrealistic really….

Even if you can’t talk to your family - talk to your friends. And even if you feel you can’t to them, there are so many people who can help you. Doctors. Counsellors. Organizations. TALK TO SOMEONE. DO IT NOW. 

And if you want to loose a little for the summer, take inspiration!

Emma Watson is one of the most beautiful, talented actresses ever to grace our screens and looks AMAZING in a bikini. 

She is a HEALTHY 115lbs.
Her beauty isn’t defined by her weight, it’s defined by her!

Cara Delevigne is the model of 2013 and is extremely beautiful and hilarious. Being a model (with a thigh gap) you’d think she starves herself. No. Cara wants to break this stereotypical view that models have eating disorders and is frequently caught eating McDonalds and takeaway pizzas.

Cara is 125lbs, which many of you label as “ugly” and “weak”, although she is beautiful and perfectly sized.

Please, I know my thoughts aren’t enough to stop an illnesses such as anorexia, bulimia or body distortion, but hopefully, if you are considering trying these ways, DON’T. And even if you are suffering and you know but haven’t admitted it, please do! Write a note to a friend or just scream it as loud as you can in a forest. Acknowledging you are suffering is the first step to recovery. 

Please, do NOT keep putting yourselves and others in danger.


Have a nice day, beautiful people :-)